Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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