just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
