We named our party play list daddy issues
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
