hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
