Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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