I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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