Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
