I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
My penis needs a shock collar
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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