Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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