If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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