last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Do vagina's smell?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
