guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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