I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
