it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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