How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
