fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
