i think my tv is drunk
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
