WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
