just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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