i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
