i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
