glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
there was a trapeze. enough said
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
So I just went to clothing optional bar
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
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