If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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