yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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