I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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