i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
lol hangovers are for mortals.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
