i just wanna soil my oats bro
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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