I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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