It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
