her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
