Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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