My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
