I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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