Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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