piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
