on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
did i just pee glitter
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
