Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
