Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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