you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
