I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
