So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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