tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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