so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
only you would photoshop your dick
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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