idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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