Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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