Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
it's like heaven, but drunker
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
