The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
