That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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