Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
