Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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