hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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