exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
