are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
im about as happy as oj after his trial
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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