I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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