HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
