I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
