Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
My vagina is very pro this idea
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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